Rainy Days
All of us have lived many moments which turned into days, weeks, months, and years; some of those moments teem with highs and others, lows—sometimes the lowest of lows. Often, our circumstances derive from life’s happenings beyond our control; however, in some cases, our worst periods are consequences of our actions. Whether or not I find myself a victim of fate due to life or my poor choices, I refer to these lows as rainy days, and I think it’s safe to say that stormclouds still gather above Fresh Prince Palace and Planet Rock.
As much as I’ve tried to dismiss every thumbnail containing Will Smith & Chris Rock on my social media timelines this week, the Internet has me right where it wants me: on the ropes as it throws jab-cross-hook combos using yet another article, meme, and every gibe in between, and I can’t seem to peer past stories regarding Sunday Night Smackdown at the 94th Academy Awards ceremony.
I have too many mixed emotions to unpack regarding the arbitrary incident, and even now, as this farce continues post-Will apology, I can’t help but shake my head and reexamine society. It kills me how quickly we can separate ourselves from being human whenever we observe another’s wrongdoing. I am reminded of a quote by African & Roman playwright Terence, who once said, ‘I am a human being; nothing human can be alien to me.’
As mortals, no emotion or action is beneath us. Therefore, how can we be so sure of our capabilities without sounding hypocritical? No amount of malfeasance weighs more than another; in my opinion, there is no question about whether or not Will Smith was wrong for assaulting Chris Rock. However, I understand his reaction as another individual who has not always made the right decisions. And so should everyone else.
When we develop amnesia, sanitize, or rationalize our misconduct, it is just as damaging, or in some cases, more harmful than an outward act because we’re forming a pretext that justifies our misbehavior. A negative and negative is only equivalent to a positive in mathematics, and in life, two wrongs will never make a right no matter the involved parties.
Let us assume this confrontation was not a publicity stunt, as many folks believe; some spectators say this because Will first laughed at Rock’s G.I. Jane joke before abruptly storming the stage. I can dig it. I felt the same way until I remembered times in my own life when it took a few moments for something to register to me; or catching a glimpse of a loved one who was hurt or angry and then becoming angry and hurt myself.
Even if my reasons were not his, and granted, I don’t entirely know his reasons because I have no first-hand experience on what it is like to be Will Smith, but everyone, including me, has had a straw-that-broke-the-camel’s-back-moment. And if we’re honest with ourselves, we will admit to having more than one; again, assuming this confrontation was not a publicity stunt, a lot of the time, impulsive judgments are blinding, thunderous, and cloud the very voice of reason in us all.
In this instance, Will possibly reacted out of impulse, his brain left in the seat of his chair, heart on his sleeve; it’s an example of the same thing I mentioned in my blog post a few weeks ago, Love: Part One, about how that emotion often causes us to act unreasonably. And this is true for any kind of relationship, not just intimate ones.
Now, on to Rock; while I am not, have never been, and probably will never be a die-hard Chris Rock fan, I commend him for keeping as much cool as he possibly could in that situation. Whether cameras point at you from every angle or not, failing to retaliate in a time where you would be justified takes more strength than it does to not; we all can relate to not retaliating when another does something wrong to us.
Sometimes, it is easy to roll any ill thoughts or feelings off one’s back, and other times, it is not; be it good or bad, it’s natural to wish you said or did the opposite of what actually occurred. THAT’S HUMAN. While he handled it like a champ, I am sure there is something in Rock that is bothered and traumatized by Will’s actions, and if so, there should be; THAT’S HUMAN, TOO.
However, Rock’s joke keeps him on the hook for me because apparently, not only was it unfunny, like most of his witticisms, it was a sore penetrated for the Smiths. Still, I wouldn’t say it was worthy of him getting the taste slapped from his mouth, but there is always a risk for one’s words and actions, actor, comedian, or not, and in their own ways, both Will & Rock are dealing with the consequences.
In all of this, I am not choosing sides because I acknowledge and relate to each perspective. I see many people on social media and elsewhere are, and that’s fine, but in closing, allow me to leave you with this. Can you withstand another’s rainy days alongside them? Or will you only appear in their lives when the sun shines? If you can’t withstand both of these, you were probably never for said person from the beginning; this analogy goes beyond Will & Chris—this is about life.
If we can’t accept each other at our worst and most remarkable moments, we might as well stay gone like the wind no matter one’s kind of day! Otherwise, we appear to be exploiters, using others only when it is convenient for us. Another thing that kills me is people who get sunshine out of another’s rainy day, for instance, saying another’s attempts to make amends or change are not good enough; who are we to say that, Humans? No one, other than separate, imperfect individuals who, often forget our imperfections.
Like lots of things, empathy and respect are reciprocal, and even if you’re in a good season of your life, give both and then some as much as you can today. You may very well need someone else’s benevolence tomorrow.
