Listen
As I reflected on my first year as a blogger, I clarified in my last post that writing about ‘just any ol’ thang’ is not my cup of tea. I can’t compose regarding a new pair of shoes I purchased or how delicious eating a bagel was without feeling I have shortchanged the reader who took a moment to click my bio link and arrive here. Others may have the ability to talk about such things in their blogs engagingly, but I am not one of them.
I would much instead share my epiphanies and revelations that descended upon me over time, and thus, if I haven’t something of substance to convey, I’d rather say nothing. It isn’t that I consider myself an inspirational author or speaker. As Sir James Baldwin once wrote, ‘nobody knows my name,’ but even if they did, I articulate lessons learned because it is in me to do.
It is my duty to pass on what I’ve come to understand by living life and what others have taught me. Lately, it has become increasingly difficult to finish what I start, almost as if I had arrived at the door which confines all the words and visions in my head, but I’ve got a ring of keys to test before unlocking.
Meanwhile, time goes by, and my efforts are futile; I don’t know if it is worse to be unproductive or make conscious attempts and get nowhere. I’m sure you would agree that both instances are frustrating; in despair, thoughts of why I continue to write and create flood my mind when things aren’t going according to plan.
But then again, perhaps they are; I must remind myself that my goal or dream is not mine but planted within me by God for someone else. Maybe this dry spell in which I find myself is where I need to be to return to the Source in that He might use me to carry on his purpose for my life.
I don’t believe for a second that I have said and done all that I was designed to, but I can’t tell you what I don’t know; therefore, it is with great gladness that I spiritually retreat and rejuvenate for a while. I will not promise a two-week return, although I would love one; nonetheless, I will return so long as I have something of value to share. I don’t care what anyone says: when you’ve done the spiritual work, everything else falls in place; I have aligned, misaligned, and realigned far too often to believe the antithesis.
When we talk, we don’t listen, and I’ve spoken consistently in this blog, but now the time has come for the latter because to do so is to learn.
